When I first started working for a production company (I was a glorified secretary at the time) I was taught about the central tension in all production companies between development and production. You’re either developing a project (writing it, in my case) or producing it (filming it, directing it for stage etc). I was told production is always better. The aim is to constantly be in production. Why? Because developing projects means you’re poor and you’re boring.
WHO WANTS TO BE POOR AND BORING?
Sure, being ONE of those things might be okay, but BOTH? But it’s true. If you spend your whole time developing stuff (for little or no money) then everyone gets sick of hearing what you’re going to do, and how little money you have to do it. Or, to bring it back to me (always) if you spend your whole time writing, people think you’re biding time in between your “real” projects (ie the stuff they see on stage/screen) and they think it’s very boring of you to go home and write your imaginary thing that doesn’t exist yet.
The mistake some people make is to tip the balance too far the other way and go into production with a not very good idea they haven’t thought about at all which means that they’re exciting, well-paid, and memorably shithouse. This of course says a lot about how arts funding works, but old Pandora should be left out of this for the moment.
THE POINT IS (yes please) that when I’m working on development, rather than production, I am THE most boring woman on earth. I don’t see anyone, I don’t go anywhere, I just sit in a room and write and then once a week I have a production meeting with Rits and Stew WHO ARE MY ONLY FRIENDS. I have a coffee from the same place each day and sometimes, AS A TREAT, I buy flavoured mineral water. FLAVOURED MINERAL WATER. TREAT. If I ever go anywhere, I’m late because I was in the middle of something. I am always “nearly finished”. I am always “coming in a tic”. Stew, whose job title at Standing There Productions (production coordinator) has never fully encompassed what he does, has gone ahead and suggested a title for himself: Head Waiter.
It is the devastating accuracy of the title that wounds me so.
I’m sorry, friends and family. I will totally make up for it when we’re in production. You watch me go.
*gets mystery illness*