Anyone who knew me three years ago will surely not forget the "mysterious illness" I contracted when I was directing rehearsals of the Standing There Productions stage show, People Watching.

If you remember that, then you will also remember the relentless hilarity that ensued when the mysterious illness was given a name.

Now, it isn't often that my ears prick up during the sport (frisbee not being a televised event). It is, however, with enormous sympathy that I note the slap face epidemic in the Crows AFL team.

Slap face. Slapped cheek. Red face. The baby disease. I TOLD YOU I WASN'T MAKING IT UP!

(By the way, slap face really does suck. Not only are you hot and itchy and tired and sick, but everyone thinks you've been punched in the face. Slightly more acceptable if you're a footballer, I imagine, than an aspiring writer/director who looks pasty at the best of times).