Instead of taking nineteen days off for the Melbourne International Film Festival, I feel I should take around thirty days off, merely in order to understand how to read their programme and book the films in the first place.
Here's what you do: the films are in sections. You read about them in their sections.
Fair enough so far.
BUT... you get to the bottom of the description of the film and you think "That sounds interesting" and you look for more details. BUT NO! The session times are elsewhere. So. You find the session times for the films. You think, "Well I'm free at seven on the Friday. I wonder what that film is about?" You look for the page number of the description of the film. It's on another page. THE PAGE NUMBER IS ON ANOTHER PAGE. In alphabetical order of the names of the films. In impossibly tiny print. It's midnight. You've been looking at this godforsaken thing for the last three hours. You wonder if maybe you shouldn't just get the box set of The West Wing and sit down with that for three weeks. Seriously, I've done law exams that were less stressful.
I've said my piece. Your programme sucks.
Having said that, I am gagging for the festival and am so far seeing the following films (click on the links for info):
Thank You For Smoking
Summer 04
The Way I Spent The End Of The World
Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic
Em 4 Jay (this one is made in Victoria)
That covers the first three days. It took me almost two days to organise. No kidding.
Remind me to get a flu shot.
PS. Apparently it has been established that Popcorn is in fact a food group, which is excellent news and now all I have to do is figure out how to get orange juice or Earl Grey tea on a drip.